What Is the Dayton Mediation Center?
Does your tension level go up when you have something important to say but “they won’t listen?” Or, you’re upset because someone hurt you or your property and just doesn’t seem to care? You want fairness and to be heard. You want people to stop bothering you.
The courts, managers in the workplace, and other systems may impose penalties on angry persons who are destructive, but penalties do little to help us feel better. Anger and stress rob us of energy and accomplishment. We want people to understand how they upset us. We want to “say our piece,” while keeping anger from escalating.
There is another option. More people are using it every day in their families, schools, workplaces and neighborhoods. It’s called mediation. Still, some are skeptical that it works because they’re accustomed to teachers, police, judges, and other authority figures “making people behave.” We can’t seem to believe that we can make a difference.
We at The Dayton Mediation Center can help you use mediation to talk to people who upset you, in order to address the problem.
We can’t guarantee that you will walk away feeling completely satisfied and anger-free, however, most of those who tried mediation said that their situations improved after just a few hours of meeting time, plus they felt better for having had the experience.
Defensiveness, suspicion, alienation, depression …consume a lot of energy. They destroy relationships, companies, neighborhoods – communities of all sorts. Facilitated dialogue can reduce your tension and help you to go on.
- Neighbor’s noise, property upkeep, pets, parking
- Family quarrels
- Vandalism
- Landlord-tenant issues
- Employees and management
- Youth conflicts
- Other issues
Mediation isn’t negotiation, like a contract agreement – “I want this, you want that, I am willing to trade this for that.” It is about how all those in dispute feel, as well as about their experiences and viewpoints. Mediation respectfully brings those feelings into view so each person can express himself for herself, and be heard clearly by the other person.
We train persons to be mediators in other organizations, from businesses to schools, within Dayton and surrounding areas. Both staff and trained citizen volunteers facilitate mediations taking place at our Center. If improving human relationships appeal to you, call us to find out about our training programs
Professional staff and trained volunteer citizen mediators do their best to help you feel comfortable. You discuss with the mediator (usually on the telephone before the meeting) who you want to be in the room and how you’d like the process to unfold.
Mediators don’t scold or dictate where you should be. They believe everyone is capable of resolving issues. A mediator resists judging or taking control of people – their words, feelings, and wants. They aren’t there to tell you that you are wrong or to decide how to fix things. You are capable of that, and the mediator strives to help you tap into that power.
Mediators listen carefully and intervene when appropriate with observations or questions like, “Here’s where there seems to be a place of real difference, am I hearing you correctly?”
With the mediator’s help, you explore the many parts of the situation. Sometimes when we see the “bigger picture” it is easier to work it out with each other. Each of you decides what will meet your needs and how you will manage your feelings. Mediators want to make sure you deliberately choose what you will do
Those who have tried mediation said …
- “It allowed kids to express their underlying feelings…They empathized with each other and each had similar problems.”
- “I’m proud to have let everything off my chest…You don’t have to talk through lawyers; you talk for yourself.”
- “We’re getting along better…We’re following the agreement plan and it’s working. Some things worked and some didn’t.”
- “If you’re at home, you can’t get it out as good as if you have a ‘referee’ there.”
- “Even though at times it got heated, we could agree on the final statement.”
- “Our office staff took the training to be able to deal with angry customers, but it also turned out that we now resole our office conflicts so much better.”
It’s FREE to Dayton residents and available to those outside the city too. All mediations are private and confidential.
Find out how mediation can work for you. Call 937-333-2345 visit online at www.domediation.com
Remember: Conflict is a natural part of life,
but we can learn to communicate better to prevent harmful consequences.
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